He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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