i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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