chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
