...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Randomize
