I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
im calling her cock vulture from now on
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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