I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
