You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
