Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I faked an abortion last night.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
My cat gives me a boner
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
