dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Randomize
