before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
