Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Ladies don't puke and tell
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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