Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Randomize
