I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
