Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
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