I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
