Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
i think i have herpe
just one?
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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