Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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