i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
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