community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
