We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Randomize
