i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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