would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
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