He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
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