Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
