Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Bring me that man meat
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
