Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
