Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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