Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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