a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I look excited, but its just a facade.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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