Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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