So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
