we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
