i jhust puked up my retainher.
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Randomize
