Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I have aggressive nipples.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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