so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
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