Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
