why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
