I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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