Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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