he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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