I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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