In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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