Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Randomize
