Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
