Acid is not a monday night drug
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
