I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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