I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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