office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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