Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
