WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
