I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
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