You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
