that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize