He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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