so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
