so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
