We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
