addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
