absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
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