So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
