I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
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