elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Randomize
