is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
You need Xanax blowdarts
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
