I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
