life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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