A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Randomize
