butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I wish I only lived at night.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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