Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
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