I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
