i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
false alarm. still invincible.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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