Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
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