Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
