Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Randomize