you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
