69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize
