No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
